Monday, September 21, 2020

Comment Wall

Link to My Portfolio

My dog Deagle and his first toy (June 2019). Source: Me


  1. Manny,

    I found your story to be hilarious, not going to lie. If you were going to tell me that I would be reading a story about the Arbiter being transformed into a crab, I would call you crazy. Kudos to you on being able to bring the arbiter into the epics like this. I found your story to be really interesting because I wanted to continue reading about what was going to happen to the arbiter. The fact that you were able to convey his personality in your short story speaks volumes to your writing. Your author's note will definitely be helpful for the people who haven't played any of the Halo games. I look forward to reading more of your stories and how you are able to implement Halo into them. P.S., the prophet had what was coming to him. Maybe write another story about how the arbiter goes back to the Halo universe.

  2. Hi Manny,
    I loved the way you retold the story of "The Cunning Crane and the Crab," but this time from the perspective of the crab. I must admit, I am not familiar with the Halo games, so I really appreciated the author's note to explain the beginning part of your story. I'm not sure if this is what you are planning to do already, but I think it would be so cool if your other stories continue the journey of the Arbiter, while also telling other Jataka tales and the way the "crab" interacts with the characters. That would be such a cool way for you to tie the stories together! I love how you added depth to the crab in the story, and from the way you described it in the author's note, the crab's personality very well matches that of the Arbiter's! I look forward to reading more of your stories!

  3. Hey Manny! I really enjoyed your retelling of "The Cunning Crane and the Crab" That story was one of my favorites!I really like how you did it from the perspective of the crab, too! Like Anusha, I am not very familiar with Halo so I also appreciated the insight you gave about your story through your authors note! As far as the actual design of your site goes, I wish there was a bit more to see as far as visuals go, but I know we are limited to the confines of Google, unfortunately. Overall, my only critique would be going a bit further with your stories and maybe expanding on them for next week, but other than that, I really enjoyed your project so far!

  4. Hello Manny!
    I thought that it was so creative how you placed the Halo universe into effect when writing your story. I honestly don't know much about that at all so I appreciate that you included such a comprehensive author's note to help explain more on the background of the character Arbiter. It was interesting to learn more about the game, and your explanations made me actually want to try playing! I also wrote a story based on the Cunning Crane and the Crab. I liked how you kept the main story line the same. I think it helped keep the setting and plot consistent and easy to follow. I hope to see how Arbiter is relevant in your future stories as well and what adventures you will put him on in other stories! I think it would be interesting to write a story that focuses more on the Halo universe!

  5. Hi Manny!
    I love your combination of something you enjoy like Halo with the Crane and the Crab story. It makes the story so much more interesting whenever you are interested in the topic yourself which is exactly what happened here. Your Author's Note was incredibly in-depth and cleared up all of the questions that I had intended to ask so nice job on that end. I would suggest adding more photos to this Portfolio to make it a little more appealing to the eyes. Plus, it's just nice to break up the text with pictures. I love the way you ended this story especially with the word choice 'snip' when it came to the beheading of the Crane. The word really grabbed my attention and if you could include more attention grabbing vocabulary like that, it would be awesome. Your portfolio looks great so far. Good work!

  6. Hey manny! I thought it was quite creative to include the Halo with the crane and crab story! I thought that was a great way to take such a short story and really make it your own personal version. I would have never thought to mix the two elements together! I also enjoyed how well your project layout and details fit all together. The chosen colors and pictures gave it that light summer touch! I really appreciated the detail and explanation in your author’s note. I honestly did not know anything about Halo and your author’s note helped me put the story together better! I really enjoyed your rendition of this story! The crane deserved all that was coming to him! I think you great with the dialogue and the over all telling of the story! I look forward to reading your other summer stories and the elements you add to them! Keep up the great work!

  7. Hi Manny!
    I still think it is so cool that you combined something you enjoy like Halo with the stories that we are reading for this class! I wouldn't even know how to begin going about combining something that I have a passion for with one of these stories so you did a good job on that.
    I have a question about 'The Arbiter' chapter, though. Doesn't it kind of defeat the purpose of the crab getting revenge whenever all of the fish are already dead? It might be a more positive and interesting turn of events if the crab was able to discover a way to save the majority of the fish and still take down the crane. As to your second story, I love the suspense of it all, but I find myself being a little confused with some of the terms you used because I'm not familiar with Halo. This could be remedied by including more in-text commentary on words that your audience may not know from Halo. You could slide in descriptions that locate your audience in the story without being too demonstrative by including little sections of explanation on what's going on.
    These were definitely interesting to read! Excellent job!

  8. Hello Manny,

    I absolutely loved your story of the underdog Arbiter taking revenge of all the fish. Crazy thing, I wrote a story very similar to yours but my story involved a tick, frog, and a snake. Like your story, it is a story of a tick who lives near a frog who eats his friends and ultimately uses a snake to get rid of it. Arbiter is the name of a character of a PC game that I play called Starcraft if that is of any connection. I loved the whole revenge route you took with this story and I hope to read more of it! I thought your story had the the right amount of narration and dialogue. A gruesome ending of the crane getting his neck snapped was a wild twist but hey, this is your story so you take it wherever it goes!

  9. Manny!
    Your story was so creative! I absolutely loved it! I noticed that you added elements of different games that I assume you play (I read this in your author’s note). I thought that was such great idea because it combines two outlets of creativity and storytelling into one new story. Also, I thought it was so clever how you wrote this story in the perspective of the crab. I loved that the crab originated from somewhere completely different but continued to follow what I can assume was his original path. I am also assuming that he is staying true to his morals of defending those who can’t defend themselves and punishing those who are wronging others. The way you wrote the story really shows that you stayed true to the inspiring story but added your own twist to it. Also, the dialogue you used was great as well because it helps to show what kind of character the crab is.

  10. Hi Manny,
    what an interesting concept---using characters from a video game universe to retell stories from Indian epics. I liked the role that you made the Arbiter play in the crab story, since like you pointed out it does it very well with the meaning of the word. I'm not familiar with the story behind Halo or what any of the characters do, so by the time I got to the second story I was a little confused. What if you incorporated some of the information from the author's note into the actual stories? I'm not sure if that would be a viable option given how complicated the plot seems to be!
    I'm really impressed that you were able to find a way to relate these two seemingly unrelated topics and incorporate the similarities you noticed between characters from the Ramayana and the video game into your retellings & am looking forward to seeing how this turns out!

  11. Manny,

    I believe this is the second time that I have commented on your project. However, as a big fan of Halo, I always look forward to reading more of your stories that you post. This week, I read your "Chief" story. Once again, you did a really good job when it came to making the story sound like something in the Halo universe. I liked how you were able to make the story have parallels to the epics without actually having to mention or change the names of the characters. Your author's note did a really good job when it came to giving more background and relating your story to the epics. I liked the idea of comparing Rama's exile to the Chief being left in unfamiliar territory. You did a fantastic job writing out details so readers could understand the parallels between the two stories. I look forward to seeing more Halo pieces from you in the future!

  12. Hi Manny!
    I really like the theme of using inspiration from different video games. It’s an element I haven’t seen before coming across your project page! Your writing style is very imaginative and also incredibly detailed. I felt as though I was right there with all of your characters. I thought it was really creative how you made your characters have this massive universal threat. I think what I personally was missing was maybe some inner thoughts of the main character. What was he thinking while all of this was going on? I think it would be really interesting to read about how the chief thinks while experiencing these life changing events. Another thing I liked about your story was how you bring up this theme of the chief being this idol to the people around him, and apparently a good one if he couldn’t risk human lives for something he hadn’t even faced yet. Thank you for sharing!

  13. Hi Manny!
    I think it's really creative how you combined story elements from Halo to the stories that you read in this class. Very cool! I appreciate your detailed author's note. I don't know anything about the Halo Universe so I found the note very helpful when you explained who the Arbiter, Prophet, and Demon was. The Halo Universe sounds very interesting and vast. I look forward to reading more of your stories and learning more about the Halo storyline while also learning more about Indian Epics! (I'm from the Mythology and Folklore class). I also thought it was nice that you added in your author's note the meaning of Arbiter and the meaning of the crane to further connect and symbolize the two different stories. I also found your second story interesting. I was curious about the Spartan II status you mentioned in this story. How high is that status compared to the others? Overall, great job! Reading your stories kind of makes me want to play Halo now haha.

  14. Hi Manny! I really enjoyed your story about the Crane and the Crab. I loved the original version of the story but the way you added details from video games, comic books, etc. was a really nice touch that really made it your own. Your author's note was one of the most helpful author's notes that I have read this far. It really tied together all of the elements that I was unsure about since I haven't played the same games as you. Your second story was very interesting and provided me with more clarification on that episode of the Ramayana as well. I think it was super cool that you continued with your Halo theme. Once again, your Author's note was extremely helpful to connecting things in the story that you brought in from other references and experiences from your games. The image you included in your story "The First Halo" helped me a lot with the visualization process as I read your story. Great job with your portfolio so far, I can't wait to read more!


Extra Credit Reading Notes: The Indian Heroes: Mahabharata - The Princes of Elephant City

  Part A - 7 Hidimba and Baka     After fleeing from the burning house, Bhima and his family rest in the nearby forest. Hidimba smells them ...